Ever been on a bad date? Move it along with:

"Well, we’d better speed this up because I have another date at 10."

Due to my continuing quest to watch every movie Emma Stone has appeared in, I am currently watching a little piece called “The House Bunny” which concerns the charming exploits of a Playboy Bunny who’s been evicted from the Mansion. It’s fucking awful.

If my last words are something like “yes please I will have fries with that” I won’t like it

trewbgn:

hi:

food will last approximately 6.4 seconds in front of me the second it’s put down, i ain’t got no time to instagram any of that

not trying to make this about me but i look really cute here

image

(via precumming)

  1. ZERO CALORIE PIZZA

  2. duh

  3. $PROFIT$

You know how there’s people who are objectively a douchebag but they think they are great? Like, everyone dislikes them. Not just those who know them, but all the people. But they don’t know it.

Do you ever worry you might be one of those people? I don’t think I’m a douchebag. But then, neither do they. I hope I’m not.

From the species that brought you Einstein’s Theory of Special Relativity, van Gogh’s Starry Night and Shakespeare’s Hamlet, prepare for the next historic cultural achievement of mankind: Fluik’s ‘Plumber Crack’ in which the object of the game is, in words that could have been written by the Bard himself: “Throw Stuff in Her Butt”.

Just glorious.

that-kid-in-the-drifloon-hat:

slutstatus:

can you believe that there are people on this earth who have never seen this video before

oh no oh no oh no OH NO oh my god.

I think my favourite part, for some reason, is she never uses ‘said’. No, no. Never said. People only pronounce and utter and retort and exclaim. All in all, a beautiful piece…

(via flamedustandfeathers)

Three words I will never, ever tire of hearing:

"erotic zombie fanfiction"

parislemon:

One month. Can’t wait.

Eeep.

Preacher is one of the best comic series ever made, and certainly the best in this whole horror/supernatural genre. It’s collected in 9 or so TPB and is so worth the read, if you can deal with the messed up plots and gore… Preacher is one of the best comic series ever made, and certainly the best in this whole horror/supernatural genre. It’s collected in 9 or so TPB and is so worth the read, if you can deal with the messed up plots and gore… Preacher is one of the best comic series ever made, and certainly the best in this whole horror/supernatural genre. It’s collected in 9 or so TPB and is so worth the read, if you can deal with the messed up plots and gore… Preacher is one of the best comic series ever made, and certainly the best in this whole horror/supernatural genre. It’s collected in 9 or so TPB and is so worth the read, if you can deal with the messed up plots and gore… Preacher is one of the best comic series ever made, and certainly the best in this whole horror/supernatural genre. It’s collected in 9 or so TPB and is so worth the read, if you can deal with the messed up plots and gore… Preacher is one of the best comic series ever made, and certainly the best in this whole horror/supernatural genre. It’s collected in 9 or so TPB and is so worth the read, if you can deal with the messed up plots and gore… Preacher is one of the best comic series ever made, and certainly the best in this whole horror/supernatural genre. It’s collected in 9 or so TPB and is so worth the read, if you can deal with the messed up plots and gore… Preacher is one of the best comic series ever made, and certainly the best in this whole horror/supernatural genre. It’s collected in 9 or so TPB and is so worth the read, if you can deal with the messed up plots and gore… Preacher is one of the best comic series ever made, and certainly the best in this whole horror/supernatural genre. It’s collected in 9 or so TPB and is so worth the read, if you can deal with the messed up plots and gore… Preacher is one of the best comic series ever made, and certainly the best in this whole horror/supernatural genre. It’s collected in 9 or so TPB and is so worth the read, if you can deal with the messed up plots and gore…

Preacher is one of the best comic series ever made, and certainly the best in this whole horror/supernatural genre. It’s collected in 9 or so TPB and is so worth the read, if you can deal with the messed up plots and gore…

If something on the Internet describes itself as a fact, it’s almost certainly not. And that’s a fact.


  She is as cute a button.


Me 
  She is as cute a button.


Me 
  She is as cute a button.


Me 
  She is as cute a button.


Me 
  She is as cute a button.


Me 
  She is as cute a button.


Me 
  She is as cute a button.


Me

She is as cute a button.

Me